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Echoes From The Tomb.
Sunday May 14, 2006
 When it comes right down to it every person has to face the most painful events in their lives alone, I was 32- years old when I had to helplessly watch as leukemia drained the life from my mothers body. And when God saw fit to take that precious light from us, it tore my family apart, I cannot speak for my brothers and sisters, nor would I begin to try, at 47- years old I am the youngest of what was once 8- brothers and sisters, and to us, our mother wasn't part of the world, she WAS the world, mother the beautiful, mother the wise, no matter what emotional or physical damage throughout childhood and adult that we had endured, she had always been there to go through it, with each and every one of us, mother the rock, strong, wise, and lovingly unyielding in her convictions. I do not to this day, believe that we as a family, handled her death very well, we pulled away from each other, secluding ourselves from the world, each one choosing to deal with the pain and anguish in their own way, I'm not saying that it was the right way to deal with it for anyone else, I'm just saying that's how I dealt with it. When your grieving, you will meet all sorts of people, who have nothing more in mind than the best of intentions, many will come up to you and say " I'm sorry I know how you feel," but the sad truth is, no you don't, you know how YOU feel, but not how I feel. It has been my personal experience, that the emotional pain that I had to deal with, has become a valuable part in the process of my personal growth as a human being. I have found the most difficult part of dealing with your pain and grief, is to simply let go of it, purge your soul, let it heal, or you may never feel whole again. You know what I think is funny kids?, our society tells us that real men don't cry! I did, real men don't feel emotional pain, I do, when God took her, I felt like climbing the highest mountain that I could find, and call him every dirty name that I could lay my tongue too, I felt angry, displaced and hurt, yet all that I was physically able to do is to fall down on my knees and cry like a baby. Sometimes late at night, when I'm sitting here alone, and I see some of the pain that comes across this screen, pain coming from people that I will probably never know, people just trying to reach out from that terrible emptiness that they're living in, just looking for someone or something to grab hold of to ease their torment. Purge yourselves, be whole again. FIN. | | Posted by Scratch at 12:04 AM - | |
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Thursday May 11, 2006
This morning at work I got into a brief discussion with one of my co workers at break time about life in general, and she asked me a question that I wasn’t sure about so I couldn’t give her an answer right away, so I told her that I would think about it, maybe do a blog post about it, print it out and give it to her on Monday. The question was what I thought the secret of life was. Corny as it sounds I took it seriously so here is my answer. The world in and of itself in all of its natural glory holds many wonders for humankind to marvel at and hold sacred, but the world and all of its natural wonders is not Gods best work. Ah. The Heavenly Fathers true genius resides in the fact that he saved his best miracle’s for life itself. Life is the Miracle, the rest is just the frosting on the cake, I don’t know if it has ever been proven that there IS a secret to life. It has occurred to me that every day that you wake up and you get to see that sunrise, and you find yourself a part of something grand and special by simply living through it all, and sharing in the experience with everyone around you, taking it one step at a time, holding those that you love the closest and doing whatever it takes to make the experience better for all involved. If we spend all of our time analyzing every little thing that life throws at us, sometimes the answers that are right in front of you, are the most difficult to see. If you spend your time searching for miracles and trying to solve mysteries, you can easily get left out of maybe not what life is, but maybe what life should be about, being there in that moment, in mind, body and spirit, to see the Sunrise, to watch it set over the mountains or the ocean, or to walk in the rain with someone that is special to you. To experience the excitement of when your lips touch for the first time and to know in your heart that you finally have someone to share this truly incredible journey with, and finally just to hold everyday that you are breathing for the true miracle that is and to live every moment as if it could be your last because you just never know when it will be. Life is Gods greatest gift to us, and it gets spoon fed to us every day in twenty four hour intervals, and if there is some glorious secret to be found, it may lye in the simple fact that life simply is no more or less than what each of us chooses to make of it. That’s my answer kitten, and I’m stickin to it.
Scratch. | | Posted by Scratch at 11:46 PM - | |
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the weekend's here! the Weekends Here! everybody sing, the Weekend's here! well, for me at least.. at this very moment I be's soooooooooooooooooo HAPPY! HAPPY! HAPPY!! okay, okay, I heard ya's shut up Scratch.
| | Posted by Scratch at 3:28 PM - | |
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Wednesday May 10, 2006
Okay lemme see if I’m getting this so far, we go over to Afghanistan, we beat the living shit out of those Taliwhacker or Talibland or whatever they’re fuckin calling themselves. We send in The Marines, The Army, The Air Force and whoever else was fucking available at the time, and we basically blast them back to the Stone age where they were barely out of in the first place. A feat by the way, that the Salvation Army could have no doubt accomplished in record time all by themselves. And here it is what? Five years after the fact and we still haven’t bagged Osama Bin Raghead.. So, we’re over there beatin up the Taliban having a good old time when all of a sudden like who sticks his fat little face over the fence but daddy’s little buddy Saddam, “What’cha guys doin over there?” Naturally his appearance doesn’t go unnoticed, “hey George, isn’t that your Pops buddy Saddam poking his nose over the fence? Hey mind your own fuckin bidness there Saddy! Or your- WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL GEORGE??? .. Uh.. Say George? I think ol slap nuts there is hiding sumpin, we might oughta go see an take a peek! ALRIGHT!! ATTENTION EVERYBODY!! EVERYBODY MAKE A SHARP LEFT TURN AT THE NEXT SAND DUNE, YEAH THAT’S RIGHT.. THE ONE WITH TH E CACTUS.. LEAVE THAT BIN LADDY GUY ALONE FOR NOW.. UNCLE GEORGE SAYS SADDAM HAS GAS111… Gas?.. Really? No shit?… For realsie’s? we’re here for fucking gas? What? did chevron run out or sumpin? oh.. I see, I'm reading it wrong, he has mustard gas or sumpin Well.. Okay George… if you say so.. Okay boys….. OPEN FIRE!!!!!! … hey you assholes over there in Pakistan!! Pipe the fuck down or your next!! What’s that? Iran is Tryin Ta build Noooocleer weapons or sumpin? They’re gonna try an take over the world? Bullshit!!!! THAT’S OUR FUCKING JOB!!!! Hey wait a fargin minute here… why.. This isn’t CNN that I’m watchin here.. IT’S H.B.O!!! we’re in the middle of a bad Hollywood movie!! Well.. That just shot this post all to hell… well fuck it.. never mind then….. I'm
going to bed... Scratch.. | | Posted by Scratch at 11:56 PM - | |
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I have long since abandoned the idea of going fishing in any place other than the Stream.. and then it won't be fishing the I'll be spending my time with.. last weekend I went to three different places to try to aquire a fishing permit and all of them said that they didn't have anymore. so this weekend instead of beating my head up against the wall with that I'm going to get a memory card for my camera and I will happily be taking pictures instead when ever I go out. well kids its wednesday so I still have some work to do.. I think I'm probably going to get to do more writing this weekend though
at least I hope so anyways.. see you this weekend my blogstreamin buds... Scratch.
| | Posted by Scratch at 7:31 AM - | |
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