I woke up this morning still in a bit of a snit. I didn’t sleep well, I was up too late and didn’t get to bed right off, and when I did, sleep was of no immediate comfort. So after I shut down the computer I lay there pondering the events of the past evening and the revelations that I had shared with some of my friends here on Blogstream. I had always thought that I would never outwardly display any of the symptoms of what we had all discussed, so I struggled with the reality of what I am becoming. and needless to say my consciousness couldn’t simply ride off into the sunset without obvious assistance. So I bartered, and begged for blissful sleep, that is when SHE showed up. that’s right The Sugar Plum Sleep Dust Fairy. And boy was she hot.. She had this sexy little number on the went somewhere mid thigh I think-
Anyhow.
“Why are you still awake Scratch?”
“Can’t sleep Sugar Plum.”
“Why not?.. Do you have things on your mind?”
“Yuh huh.”
“Like what?”
“My blog Sugar Plum.. Its my Blog”
“Your blog huh? As in Echoes From The Tomb?”
“Yeah. There’s a problem.. I tried to hide it but I can’t no more.. I am..”
“What Scratch? What is it?.”
“ I Scratch am.. A VANILLA DRAGON!”
And then at the height of my epiphany of self discovery, my sexy little sugar plum sleep dust fairy said something g so profound that I will never forget it.
“So?.. What’s wrong with Vanilla?”
“Well sugar Plum.. You see its like this.. There are some who think that being vanilla means that we have no flavor or depth. In blogging terms being referred to as vanilla means your blog is becoming boring and predictable. As in vanilla.. The flavor of the day.”
“Hmmm. You know Scratch.. I don’t get around as much as I used to.. But I thought that the whole purpose of you having a blog was writing for your own enjoyment first. And then if someone else happens to enjoy it too well then isn’t that just a bonus?”
“So what do you suggest Sugar Plum?”
“Embrace your inner Vanilla Scratch.. If they don’t like it Piss on em they don’t have to read it.”



By cracky That’s it! No more denial.. Yes from this day hence forth I shall embrace my inner vanilla! Do you hear me world?? I Scratch Dragon shall hence forth, embrace my inner vanilla. And anyone who has a problem with my Vanillaness shall find themselves up to their scrawny necks in dragon poo! I shall NOT go quietly into that good night!! (oh wait.. that’s Dylan Thomas not me.) damn.. And I wanted to follow up with something really lofty and poetic.. Hmmm let me think here.. TO Be Or not to Be!
“Uhhhmmm.. Scratch?”
“Yes My sexy little sugar plum?”
“That’s William Shakespeare.”
“Chit.”
“Oh don’t worry I think they got your meaning. And even if they didn’t they probably got a chuckle or two out of it at least. now I have to go Mr. Scratch.. Are you ready to sleep yet?”
“I’ll get there Sugar Plum.”
“ Good. I have to go to the white house next. George W Bush can’t seem to fall asleep. He’s worried it seems.”
“Iraq?’
She sadly shakes her head no.
“Unemployment… His.”
As she turned to leave she paused for a moment and the small deviant in me returned as I reached over and slapped her on the ass. She turned to me with a puzzled look”
“Hey sexy..” I tell her in my best Elvis voice. “If your ever in the neighborhood again, do stop in.”
She giggled.
“Oh Scratchy.. That line never works.. It’s so…. Vanilla.”

~Scratch~

Ok.. So your sitting there. Yeah right on the edge of your seat, and your watching.. There’s a young couple. They’re newlyweds. Yeah, and they decided to postpone their honeymoon to go .. Camping.. yeah that’s the ticket, camping.. and even though they are probably a thousand miles from home and all of the locals here have warned them to stay away, they end up in a place called.. Lets say.. Haunted Woods that surround Blood lake. Now they are out in the boonies. In the deep woods.. And they are going at it in a sleeping a bag on the ground, when suddenly.. The manly man brave hubby, hears a strange sound.. (sounds kinda like a deep voice) that clearly says: “GET…. OUT!!…. NOW!!.” so what does this brave imbecile do?.. Care to hazard a guess?… Hmmmmm?… Anybody?.. Ok I’ll tell you. He gets up and wanders into the dark woods in his tighty whiteys, with no weapon, no friggin clue as to what he’s going to find , and the next thing that you the viewer see’s is some half baked monster/human/bad guy in a hockey mask that slashes them up into a thousand different pieces. There’s blood and guts and entrails and.. Well you get the picture. This is what passes for a horror movie nowadays. Hack, slash. Blood.. Guts and gore galore.. And 99 percent of it is pure shock value. So where’s the scary parts? Where is the part that’s going to keep me up until the wee hours of the morning because I‘m too petrified to sleep?.



When I tell people now that I’m a fan of horror films most are taken aback by it. No dimwit.. Not modern slasher flicks.. Horror films. Like Frankenstein.. Dracula.. The Werewolf.. The Mummy.. I’m talking Bela Lugosi.. Boris Karloff.. Lon Chaney.. The classic’s from the 30’s and 40’s. ok these movies aren’t going to bowl you over with their special effects.. No ray guns. No chainsaws.. No multi million dollar budgets.. No computer graphic’s.. but in their defense let me tell you what sets them apart from their modern counterparts. Atmosphere and imagination.. See, they can show you blood and guts and hack and slash, and all of the gratuitous violence your little cranium can handle.. But it’s a true master that knows when to pull back.. To not show you the complete picture. A truly crafty writer will show you the creepy house in the middle of the black woods. And they’ll even let you in the front door.. And they will guide you through the entire ordeal, letting you see and hear all of the dark scary little nuance’s of the house, you’ll hear distant screams.. And you’ll see and almost be able to feel the monsters frosty breath.
They’ll let all of the anticipation for the one final moment build inside of you, until you can’t take the suspense anymore. And then when you arrive at the final door .. It will be left up to you and your own imagination to open it. I don’t know about most people but with me, when I go to see a movie, specifically a scary movie, it isn’t all of the blood and guts that I find Truly scary, It is the small things that I am purposely not allowed to see that have the lingering effects on my imagination.. Like that special time when the lights are turned off and I am all alone and left to wonder what exactly WAS behind that last un opened door?.

~Scratch~



Two Of My Homies.

I wanted so much to write something positive for my blog tonight. I had a full day at work we moved the entire UPS desk lock stock and barrel, to a new location in the warehouse. But when I hit the door my thoughts almost immediately turned towards the Brianna Denison case. Brianna Denison for those of you who haven’t heard was a beautiful young nineteen year old college student in Reno Nv, that was kidnapped on January 20th, they found her body last Friday, raped and strangled to death in a field in Reno.

I wonder what kind of sick twisted little twitch would do such a thing? And what really saddens me is how her family tried to appeal to the human side of this prick while she was still only missing. I think it was her mother that asked, “Please bring my baby home.” dear.. some people have no souls.. Godless bloodless.. Soulless wretches whose only purpose in life is to prey upon other people.

They hurt whom so ever they can, and then disappear into the shadows like scared little children. And then when they DO catch them you have the people who want to study them as though they were a lab rat. The world does confound me sometimes with its coddling of cowardly criminals..

“But.. We have to find the source of his rage.. We have to try and understand him.” ask Brianna’s family how much they want to try and understand this monster. yeah? You want to understand the sick little twitch?.. If I found him and the outcome were up to me, I drag him to the town square and then I’d buy a rope . But maybe that’s just me.

~Scratch~

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I found these this morning on the web.. so in honor of the bumbling Idio- errr.. I mean the wise men who run our country into the groun- err. I mean bravely lead us into the future.. oh hell.. for presidents past, present and future. this post's for you!

1. Who is one of two Presidents to have officially reported seeing a UFO?

2. What President owned a pet alligator and kept it in the East Room of the White House?

3. The children of which President used the East Room of the White House as a roller skating rink?

4. Licorice flavored jelly beans were which President’s favorite candy?

5. Which President once got stuck in a normal sized bathtub and later had an oversized bathtub installed in the White House?

6. Which President was arrested for running over an old lady with his horse? (By the way, the charges were later dropped!)

7. Who was the first President to hold little league tryouts on the White House lawn?

8. Baa, Baa White House Sheep? What President kept a flock of sheep to graze in the White House yard during the first World War?

9. “I will not eat broccoli!” Who was the first and only President to publicly announce this?

10. Which President’s right leg was ¾” longer than his left and had to wear corrective shoes to make them the same?

11. By his middle age, this President didn’t have any teeth! He did however have several sets of “dentures” or false teeth made from the teeth of cows, pigs, elks and humans! Which President?

12. Who was the only President born on July 4th?

13. “Bubba” was which President’s nickname?

14. Which President killed a man?

15. Who was the only President to weigh less than 100 pounds?

~Source Erickson Tribune.com~

~Answers in comments section.~

Doobix.com

Law Enfarcement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While most of us have in our lifetimes, witnessed some bizarre behavior in our fellow human beings, I would think it safe to say that police officers probably witness such behavior on a daily basis. and it often comes complete with a bizarre story to go right along with it. here are a few police stories that I found floating around the web.



Auto Pilot.
++++++++++++

One day a CHP officer from our office arrives on scene of a non-injury collision, with the local P.D. standing by for us. The coppers are all laughing and snickering as our guy approaches. The CHP is trying to get the info from the coppers about what happened, but all they can do is point, and tell him to talk to the driver. Now one of the drivers is a very agitated visitor, Asian, who is ranting and raving about suing Ford Motor Co. Our officer attempts to calm him down, trying to find out what happened.. well... as it turns out.. the visitor was driving the van on one of our freeways when he decides he's pretty thirsty.. sooooo he puts on the "cruise control" which he believes to be something akin to "auto pilot," as he then gets up out of the driver's seat and goes to the back of the van to get a drink. In short order the van goes out of the lane, striking another car. Ruh roh.. Well at last sighting, the tourist still was yelling "Ford no good, Ford no good.." and our guy still had tears running down his face hahhah .....D.L. Grady, California Highway Patrol

Coke Goes With Everything!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Maybe it is not strange, but it is true. I stopped at the local "storefront" station to take a break. A less than model citizen walks in the front door and hands me a small baggie of cocaine. He then tells me, "I just bought this cocaine down the street and I want you to arrest the man that sold it to me!" HELLOOO! Anyone home?!?! Ends up he was a local drug dealer tryin to "legally" get rid of the new competition which sprung up. We got rid of him for a while.......Charlie Vazquez, Houston Police Department



Another Stinkin Lawyer!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++


While working general duty one day a call went out for a traffic member to respond to an MVA with injuries. As I was in that general area and could respond quicker I attended the location. On arrival I noted a 4x4 Jimmy had failed to negotiate a sharp turn and had driven into a residents rock garden. To make matters worse the vehicle was wedged up against a tree and the driver coudn't get out. A bystander advised me the driver was having difficulty breathing so I managed to bend the tree and get the door open.When I opened the door I noted two things, a case of beer on the floor of the passengers side, and a horrible aroma. Ambulance attendants and the traffic member arrived on scene, and I explained to the traffic member there was a possibility the driver was impaired. Much to our dismay we managed to get the driver out of the vehicle. The driver turned out to be a high priced lawyer in a 3 piece suit. The funny part about the whole thing was the accident. He left Work early because he wasn't feeling well. Before going home he stopped and had a beer with the boys. As he was driving home I guess the flu was getting the better of him. He tried to pass gas as he was negotiating this turn and instead passed a whole lot more! He was caught by surprise and lost control of the vehicle. We laughed for days over that one. Not too often you see a lawyer in a predicament like that! He was not impaired thankfully cause he wasn't getting in the back of my pc! .......A.L. Lambie, RCMP



A Deflating Experience.
++++++++++++++++++++++++

This is long but... We had caught a rape suspect one evening several hours after it occurred. We went by to get the victim for an ID but she had two children and couldn't leave. I volunteered to watch the kids while my partner transported. I stood on the balcony of the apts having a smoke and my attention was drawn to flickering candles below. Through some mini blinds I could see a man caressing a naked lady. The view was hazy but clear enough to see what was taking place. As I watched he climbed on top and began making love to her.. she didn't move. He apparently finished and got up, covering the lady. He covered the body completely, head to toe, tucking the covers under like he was wrapping a cadaver. It appeared to me as if I was watching an actual case of necrophilia, compounded by all the burning candles as sort of a shrine. He then laid next to the body and began rubbing her body through the covers. She never moved or showed any signs of response.I thought I was actually witnessing a case of necrophilia. Upon my partners return, we agreed it needed checking. I knocked on the door and the man asked who it was. When I uttered the immortal word "POLICE!", he killed the light and we could hear rummaging around in the apt. Through the partially closed blinds I could see him moving the body from the bed out of my sight. We banged louder and ordered him to open the door. Just as I was getting ready to kick the door, it opened and we went in. No body. This was a motel room so he couldn't have hid the body that quickly. I went to the bathroom, but nothing. The shower curtain was closed and I was sure she had to be in there. Pulling back the curtain, nothing! As I turned back into the hall I saw a large pile of clothes that might conceal a body. Fearing the worst I pulled some clothes aside and there she was with a big gash in her side.....the inflatable doll the guy was doing!!!! He panicked when we knocked, couldn't get the air out quick enough so "killed" her, hiding her body. The guy was actually doing plastic. Over 10 years and I still laugh about that one. .....Sgt Keith Underwood, South Gate PD, CA



I Hope everyone enjoys their weekend!

~Scratch~