It seems like I have been here in this place for thousands of years, even though in reality it hasn’t been quite that long. Perhaps I have been here too long. I come home from work tonight, I do the usual, turn on the computer crank up the coffee pot and head for the shower. So I grab me a cup of brew and retire to the chair and decide to sit and watch the Stream float by. So I sip on my coffee and out of the blue I hear this voice that I don’t recognize.
“Scratch?”
“Uhhhh… Yes?.”
“What do you think of Kismet?”
“ Ummmm… Kismet?”
“Yes Scratch.. Kismet.”
“Its pretty Good with Pastrami and Swiss. I like mine with a big ol slice of dill pickle with an iced tea on the side and..-”
“No Scratch.. KISMET!!”
“Does it go good with Chili? you know I used to drink beer with chili, but since I stopped, Its been so hard to find a good accompaniment to Chili-”
“No. Scratch.. Get your brain out of your stomach.”
“You mean you can’t eat it?”
“No.”
“ well.. Farfin nuffin. (One of my new cuss words..)
“Scratch.. Have you ever heard the saying what comes around goes around?”
“Oh chit yeah! Fate, destiny, karmic retribution, that kind of stuff?”
“Yes Scratch… Kismet.”
“Well Choot.. ( Choot is Chit with Two O’s) hey man, you live by the sword, you die by the sword.”
“What does that mean exactly?”
“Well you reap what you sow in life, you get no more than you give, if you go through life taking advantage of people just because you can, it will sooner or later catch up with you. Karma, Kismet whatever you choose to call it, will always balance the ledger in the end.”
Slow muffled sounds of confusion.
“ I know people that have been nothing but a curse on everyone that has ever known them for their whole lives, they spend their entire lives in and out of jail, running into trouble where ever they can find it. And through it all do you know what all of these people have in common?”
“Ummm… I don’t know Scratch.”
“Every bad thing that has ever happened to them is always somebody else’s fault. And do you know what it really boils down to?”
“Tell me Please.”
“Nobody made them lie, cheat and steal their way through life, nobody made them rape or murder or pillage. Nobody stuck the needle in their arm, they made themselves what they are as a direct result of the choices that they made, you do bad things, you suffer the consequence’s.”
“Hmmmm. I’m not sure I agree with all of that.. But okay.”
“By the way.. Who are you exactly?”
“Who do you want me to be?”
“Dunno.”
“How about you call me Barney Scratch.”
“The Dinosaur?”
“Ugh.. Heavens no, pick a different Barney.. Scratch.”
“Barney Fife?”
“Hmmmm.. Okay…Barney Fife it is. Oh and Scratch?”
“Yeah Barn?”
“You better drink your coffee and surf your Stream, before people start thinking that your talking to yourself.”
“It’s okay Barn…They already think that.”
Scratch.
