I know its as real as that table right there, but how do I know for certain? Is it because I can physically touch it? I have had dreams that seemed real to me to a certain degree as well, so, does the same thing in a dream tell me that what I’m touching in the dream isn’t real, as what I’m touching in the physical world IS real?, and how do I know that I can trust that distinction between the two?, which table is truly real? The one that I see when I close my eyes, or the one that is there when they are open?.
She fidgets in her seat while pondering the questions, she leans forward as if her interest is growing.
“Scratch.. Buddy.. These are all questions that have been asked many times before. What we are taught is that what is there while we are in a conscious state is real, and what we see in our minds while we sleep is a dream.. So.. May we stick with that?”
“Sure Doc, anything you say, but who is to say that when each is put into context, that both are nothing more than separate realities?”
“There is no continuity in the world of dreams Scratch, no two dreams are exactly alike, you don’t pick up right where you left off the last time.”
Now I’m leaning forward.
“Well, in that sense doc, there isn’t really any continuity in the physical world either, in the direct sense that we each have our perceived realities interrupted by sleep. So what is the true reality and what is the perception? I came here to discuss my imaginary friend with you, and the moment that you actually thought if only for a second, that you actually heard that voice, the imaginary, became in that slightest of instances, a reality, and sanity was no longer the issue.”
She leans back again, and crosses her long beautiful legs, but I’m not looking at the skirt this time.
“I need a cigarette.” she tells me.
“Go for it doc,” I tell her.
She lights up a smoke and nervously eyes the door, as if the smoking police will break though and arrest her for breaking her own rule.
“I’ve been trying to quit Scratch, But I having myself a time of it I suppose.”
My eyes are slowly drifting up and down her body carefully acknowledging every delicious curve.
“So.. That was Barney?”
“Yep.. Welcome to my world Doc.”




“You can take this in several different directions and apply it to your dilemma of choice, is Barney real or imagined? Or perhaps what scares you doc is that since you’ve heard his voice actually speaking, in that moment of clarity, you perhaps pondered the very distinct possibility that you yourself may be part of the same reality as Barney, meaning, that you may be nothing more than just another figment of MY imagination.”
She doesn’t answer, and only her concerned stare offers any to evidence that I may have struck a nerve.
“Aww don’t sweat it doc, for all I know I myself may be a figment of someone else’s imagination. Everyone has questions.. About reality, about fantasy, is it live? or is it Memorex?. After all anywhere, and in everyway when life is involved, there will always be more questions than probable conclusive answers. If it isn’t reality its something else.. How did I get here? Where am I going? How long do I have to get there?. Why? What? Where?.. When? So many questions.. So little answers. How real are you? Is it all just a matter of perception? Is there REALLY only one true reality?”
She walks over to me and stands in front of me, slowly unbuttoning her blouse, I can smell her sweet perfume, it intoxicates my senses, I can almost taste her salty yet savory sweat on the tip of my tongue. A crash breaks through the silence and I fall to the floor on my hands and knees. When I raise my head I am eye to eye with Mr. P. he cocks his furry head to one side.
“Hey Scratch dude?.. Are you alright buddy?”
I ponder his question.. It is a question that I cannot easily answer.. Hell… Can Anybody?

Scratch.. © 2007.

She reclines back into her chair as if waiting for my reaction. That last statement. “I’ve been to the Blogstream.” she crosses her legs and her already short white skirt begins to ride up her well tanned thighs, leaving me no less than tongue tied, so I say the only thing that my twisted up lips are capable of uttering.
“Ubeth… Mybeth… Gooooooodth!!!”
(rough translation: OH MY GOD!!)
She smiles that brilliant delicious Doctor Feelgodess smile.
“So Mr. Scratch, do tell me.. How many friends exactly do you have on Blogstream?”
I shrug..
“I don’t know exactly.. More than a few though.. But Doc, forgive me if I turn this around for a moment, but.. I’m curious as to what YOUR take on the Blogstream is.”
She pause’s.. leaning forward now, her ample bosom swelling almost as if with great pride.. Little beads of perspiration slowly trickling down between her twin peaks.. ( I reiterate.. )
“Ubeth… Mybeth… Gooooooodth!!!”
“I find it an interesting and somewhat eclectic blend of personalities, Mr. Scratch. From what I’ve read, There are some who enjoy being troublesome, there are some who prefer to remain neutral, there are some who try to play peace keeper, and there are a few who are looked upon to share their wisdom.. An interesting similarity between the Blogstream world and the physical world.. Interesting indeed. By the way Mr. Scratch, I thought I heard you talking to someone when I came in, another one of your imaginary friends?”
I look around the room nervously… Damn you Barney!! Damn you all to hell!!

Imaginary Friends?... What Imaginary Friends?..



I look around the room, checking out all the local scenery, including that tight little white skirt. But seeing as how she notice’s me noticing, my curious and amorous glances continue on with their travels.. Until that is Barney decides to open his big mouth… yet again.
“Hey Doc!! Scratch is checking out your Hoo Ha!”
I try to maintain a look of composure and dignity, meanwhile Doctor Feelgodess cocks her head to one side and raise’s one eyebrow and slowly her own beautiful blue eyes begin to search the room. I am now becoming slightly confused.
“Is there a problem Doc?”
She gives me a puzzled look.
“Didn’t you hear that?”
I try to play dumb.. (Hold your comments please.)
“Hear what Doc?”
“That guy!”
“What Guy?”
“That Guy Damnit! The one that said you were looking up my skirt at my panties or something.”
“I believe my exact words were Hoo Ha, Doc.” Barney interjects.
Her eyes nervously dart around the room..
“There!.. There he is again!”
Oh great.. Doctor Feelgodess can hear my imaginary friends.. Of all of the therapist office's I could have picked… I had to walk into this one… wonderful.

To Be Continued.

Scratch… © 2007.



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I was already late for starters. Got up on the wrong side of the bed to boot, missed the Starbuck’s breakfast blend and barely got in a morning shower when I was breaking for the front door. My appointment was for 8:30 am and it was 8:34 and I was still a block and a half away from the doc’s place, I rolled into the door at 8:38 am, just in time to see the elderly Granny Goose type receptionist peering over the top of her horned rimmed bifocal’s at me, The icy, silent stare that I was receiving did very little to aid in my cause.
“May I help You?”
“Yes ma’am, I have an appointment with Doctor Feelgodess.”
“First name?”
“Scratch.”
“Last name please?”
I pause.. Like a squirming school boy, trying to come up with a last minute excuse for his missing homework.
“Sir?… Last name please!”
“Chee..”
“Your name is Scratch Chee?”
I nod to the affirmative.
“You are late..” she looks down at her watch.. “but.. So is she. Go inside her office and wait for her please.”
I enter her office and can still detect her scent, it is very faint, but noticeable. I sit down on the couch and scan the room for anything new, and then I hear him..
“Psssssst… hey Scratchy Boy… this is some funky joints she’s got here huh?”
I look around the room nervously, and soon find myself whispering back answers.
“Barney?!?!?.. What in the blue Magoo’s are you doing here???”
“I just came to offer a little moral support buddy.”
“Barn… YOU are the reason I’m Here!”
I can’t see him at this point, but I can hear him rustling around her desk, a picture of Doc and one of her colleagues falls onto its back..
“Whoa Mama!! … is THAT her? The blonde?? Dayum Scratchy! She‘s HOT!!”
I quickly try to search for a proper response that may tell him that his remarks towards Doctor Feelgodess’s Voluptuous physical appearance were totally inappropriate.. But all I could say was “Yep.”
( On a side note, I find the thought of being in the presence of Barney Fife while he is becoming sexually aroused by a picture of my Hottie Therapist more than a little disturbing.)
I can hear her coming down the hall.
Barn keep your yap shut! Here she comes!”



She walks through the door looking fresh as a morning breeze, her blonde hair falling around her shoulders, her ample Cleavage rising and falling with each breath that escapes her ruby red lips.. Scorching my sex starved eyeballs as if I were staring directly into the sun. huh?… oh yeah… therapy.
She smiles with those sexy… Therapy Scratch Therapy!
“Sorry I’m late Mr. Scratch.. Been waiting long?”
“Ummm. No Ma’am.”
“Well that’s good, I am sorry for my tardiness, but I was up waaay past my bedtime.. Mr. Scratch.. It would appear as if there are a few other things that we should discuss during your visit.”
My mind is going in a thousand different Directions now… what does she mean by this? Is it Asa? Is it Mr. P? did that damn Gremlin Double park on top of another cop car again? What could it possibly be?. I gave her a blank stare.
“Mr. Scratch… I been up all night visiting your quaint little community.”
“You’ve been to the Tomb?”
“No Mr. Scratch.. Your other home”
Silence.
Mr. Scratch.. I’ve been to the Blogstream.”

To Be Continued….

Scratch.. © 2007.

I enter the room at 7:15 pm. It is all white, with a whole plethora of neatly placed and frame medical degrees hanging precariously from the north wall of the room. There is a large wooden desk, and a chair near what looks to be an armless couch, I sit down and SHE enters the room, I’ll call her Doctor Feelgodess. She is tall perhaps a shade under six foot, long tan legs and a nice round… ummm… accent.. huh? Oh yeah.. she has platinum Blonde hair that shines and she speaks in a slightly raspy British accent.. Oh.. And she… has… really big boobs.. She tells me to lye down on the couch..(Things are looking up..) and to tell her what’s troubling me..
“Well Doc,” I tell her.. “I think that I could be losing my grip on reality.”
“Do dish Mr. Scratch.”
“Well, lately Doc, it seems like my imaginary friend understands me more than my real ones do.”
“Imaginary friend? You have an imaginary Friend? Does this friend have a name Mr. Scratch?”
“Barney Fife.”
“You mean Don Knotts?
“No, Barney Fife.”
She crosses her legs and leans back, and runs her pencil across her Ruby reds lips… slowly.. Her pink tongue….. Uhhhhh… oh yeah… Barney Fife.
“But see Doc, I think that there’s a bit of jealousy going on there.”
“Jealousy? Please explain.”
“Well I don’t think that its right for the Dragon, Tiger or Gremlin to judge Barney, after all, sure he can be a pain in the buttocks, but that’s my call to make I would think.”
“Dragon?”
“Well after all.. I’m the only one that sees barney, and he doesn’t make a mess in the Tomb when he stops by for a visit, and when he does I do make him clean it up.”
“Tiger?… Gremlin?… TOMB?”
She stares at me blankly..
“ Yeah Doc… My REAL friends.. Didn’t I mention those?”
“Ummm… Mr. Scratch?”
“Yes Ma’am?.”
She uncrosses her legs and leans forward. her lips.. Almost pouting now…
Ummm…. oh yeah.
“Mr. Scratch I think that This is going to take more than one visit.. See you next Friday at 10:30 am ??”
“Oh yeah.. Most definitely Doc.. I have to leave anyhow.”
“Another appointment?”
“Well yeah.. When I left Sherries place this morning on the Blogstream, I was on my way to see this Alien That I know about buying his fly saucer from him..”
“Blogstream?. Alien?… Mr. Scratch?”
“Yes Ma’am?”
“I don’t think we should wait until Friday.”

To be Continued…..

*Editors Note*
If anyone is reading this, I want all of you people that go around acting crazy, and creating problems for people on the Stream, to pay very close attention to this text and its no doubt, many extensions.. Because this is how REAL crazy people are supposed to act.

Ha!

Scratch.

I recently Bought a copy of this movie in the Bargain DVD bin at wal Mart, Its one of My favorite movies of all time, and All of the characters in it are pure classic.. I watched it this morning, Oddball.. Now Theres a man for ya's..

Some of his wisdom you just couldn't argue with.



Oddball:
"Why don't you knock it off with those negative waves?.. why don't you just dig how beautiful it is out here?.. why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?"



"Wow! so many positive Waves! this could work! Okay.. I'm in!"

(Not an exact Quote... )

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