I have forged several friendships over the course of my lifetime, some of which have left visible scars on the landscape of my memories, while others have left little but faint images to learn from. So those I store in a special place in my mind, to draw from, to learn from, what to do, what not to do. Many things that I have learnt have to do with dealings in matters concerning the fairer sex. women have always held a certain fascination for me I suppose, so whenever the opportunity would present itself to go forth in a group into the often hazardous waters of the club scene, I would always opt to go for if nothing else the entertainment value of watching my so called friends make asses of themselves while attempting to gain the attention of the ladies.

What stands out the most in my recollections are people, guys mostly, that I used to hang around with, party with, in the bigger casino’s in Reno where they would usually have stale live music where local bands would play rewashed top forty stuff mostly. Sometimes they were just a friend of another friend that none of us hardly knew but they would always come along when we would venture out on the weekends. I always got the impression that most of the guys were on a fishing expedition. I hate phonies, I always have, most of the time half of them that came along were broke ass liars, but they always seemed to be there. When asked if I wanted to come along, I would throw on some blue jeans and a tee shirt, and off we would go. But not the prince charmings, they would get all duded up, and of course by the time they were finished trying to make themselves look like something that they obviously weren’t, they would end up borrowing money from the rest of us to try and impress the ladies with.



We’ve all seen the classic stereo types, guy meets girl, guy fills her with a line of bullshit and tries to impress her, with the stories of his wealth and world conquests. None of which- ( Of course ) he actually had, but anything to get the girl in bed I suppose. Thankfully none of the young women in Reno and hopefully the world beyond ever fell for any of the bologna, Too smart I suppose, and the pretenders would end up alone and heading back to Carson City before we even knew they were gone. I guess most of them didn’t like themselves very much, it’s the only reason that I can come up with for them trying to pretend to be someone that they weren’t. well here it is 2008, and the party crowd and I have well, parted ways, and most of my friends now are rather tame compared to the old days. I suppose to some degree we have become comfortable with ourselves and have no need for false impressions.

But as I look around now I see the same old tired tactics being used in the same old ways, young men and women strutting and posturing to impress each other. and as soon as they are alone and the lights go out, they find that they are really nothing more than frightened children. I never quite got the hang of the dating game, I could never look a woman in the eye and try to fill her head with absolute bullshit, to try to sway her in my favor. I’m not sure if its that I am a bad liar, or rather that I just never had the need to try to sell myself to anyone. Sooner or later the truth will surface, and in my opinion better sooner than later. It seems to me that there is too much posturing involved in the way people set about making impressions on each other, and they will go to extremes sometimes to get what they want. Maybe I just don’t get it, or maybe there is some part of me that just doesn’t WANT to get it. Maybe its my upbringing, or maybe its simply because I have always been more concerned with who I really am, rather than trying to be someone that I am not.

~Scratch~

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Sunday April 27th 6:45 am.
I got up early to make coffee, well, because I managed to get to bed at a decent hour last night, with summer coming I have been intentionally pulling myself away from the internet more and more so I may enjoy the early morning hours on my weekends. So this morning I had barely even gotten the first cup past my lips when I decided to go check the mail. Moving around in the wee hours of the morning in an apartment building can be a little tricky if you really have any degree of respect for you neighbors, (which I most certainly do) so not knowing if anyone else was awake yet I was quietly making my way down the stairs. that’s when I noticed that I was being watched from the apartments across the street.



It was one of the local mutants, new too as far as I could tell, as I have never seen this particular one before. I was a goner before I even made it to the mail box. He acquired me as a target and began to saunter his way in my direction. I quickly took notes on his appearance. White male, early twenties, Kinda skinny, about five ft six I’d say, wears clothes that seem to be three sizes too big for his skinny ass, and has a baseball cap that doesn’t appear to know how to sit on his head straight. And his arms and hands can't seem to sit still either, both making these strange swinging gestures, and twitching as he walks. And I swear, (I’m not kidding!) the first words that he spit out of his mouth at me sounded like, “Heeeeey BOYEEEEE!” so I was now compelled to stop as he attempted to communicate with me.




I think that he was trying to speak English, as I seemed to recognize a few fragments of words that sounded vaguely familiar. Words like Sup? And Smoke and morning. Ok ok, I’m being an asshole here, but I swear that if you saw this guy this morning at my mailbox you would know that what I’m saying isn’t all that far fetched. I think that he was just after a cigarette, but from the looks (And smells)of things, what he really needed was some clean clothes (That didn’t hang off of his ass.) and a serious shower. Ok maybe that was a little judgmental on my part but damn, there are some things too friggin horrible to witness so early in the morning!



Well he didn’t get the cigarette because one, I don’t smoke, and two I won’t support someone else’s habit. So he wandered back across the street, hands twitching at his sides, blue jeans pulled half ways down his skinny ass, walking with that strange little hopping thing that some people do, I have always called it “The Stinky Butt Strut.” why is it that some people can’t tell when they need a bath? And why the hell is it, that some people don’t seem to realize that their clothes don’t fit? Not everyone enjoys the unsightly appearance of a dirty butt crack in the morning, and Not everyone wants to smell the stench of someone’s B.O. ugggnnnh. Maybe I just need more coffee.

~Scratch~

I had someone come up to me and ask what I was going to do for Earth Day. Well to be honest I didn’t even know it was Earth day. Here’s my problem. I think everyday should be Earth day, I think that for every second that this wonderful big blue marble allows us to live here we should be kissing her big blue butt. Do you really think that we are going to pay back everything that we owe this planet with one day a year? Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea, anything to raise environmental awareness. But until each and every person on this planet starts taking some personal responsibility for what is happening to this wonderful planet of ours it will never be enough. so today, tomorrow, the days following that, be thankful to her, give Mother Earth a hug EVERYDAY.. She deserves it. As a wise man once said. “GIT ER DONE!!”

~Peace out Y’all.~ Scratch.

I would usually hear the voice’s whenever I was in the throes of impulse shopping whilst in one of those super Wal Marts or in any one of the local grocery stores. Oh sure I always made a list. But c’mon, nobody ever sticks to those things. I would write shit like, “ok. I need toilet paper, paper towels, shaving cream, uhmmmm. Razors and a rotisserie chicken for dinner. Sure that’s what was SUPPOSED to happen, but of course it never did. Once inside the door, those damn voice’s would take over. “Ok now. I’m just here to buy a new pair of Jeans and some sweat socks!” yeah right sweat socks. Try as I may I could never truly totally avoid the food isles. The P.A. speakers would crackle to life with something like. “Attention Wal Mart Shoppers.. Green Beans on sale now in the produce section. 3 lbs for a dollar.”

Of course what they said over the P.A. and what I actually heard were two totally different things, I would hear something totally different like: “Attention Wal Mart Shoppers! Come to the food section.. We have Chocolate.. We have Peanut butter covered in Chocolate. We have Peanut butter thingy’s covered in chocolate with coconut sprinkles! We have Dove Ice cream bars! ( Also covered in not just chocolate, but Triple thick chocolate.!) Come one! Come all! To the super duper Wal Mart mega Chocolate Sale! While supplies last!”

yeah, yeah, yeah. They knew they had me at ‘Attention Wal Mart shoppers.’ I always tried to fight them you know?, but the damn voices, they wouldn’t leave me be. “I’m not going over there! Damnit! I’m not gonna do it! Damn you all to h*ll! .” so I would push my cart (Slowly) in the opposite direction. “Gee.. I wonder what new Dvd’s they have on sale this week?” that was about the time when the voices would take over.
“HEEEEY! Where ya goin dumb ass? The Chocolate is over there! That Way! Yeah over there!”
I tried desperately to ignore them but. To no avail.



Almost involuntarily my cart would slowly change directions even as I tried to deny the impulse to go have a look, “Over There.”
“Jeans.. Uhhh. Shaving cream.. Sweat socks uhhhh. Didn’t they say something about fresh green beans? Oh I love fresh green beans. Maybe I should just swing by the produce section for a quick peek.”
Oh sure. I really did want to go check out the green beans, but always seemed to enter the grocery section of the Wal Mart super center right at the freezers.Right where they kept the triple thick chocolate covered Dove Ice cream bars along with a colorful array of other sugar coated delights that are intended to make you sit in one place and vibrate for an hour or so immediately after consumption.

I always made it to the register, but the many detours along the way to what I really came to the store to buy were costly. “Lets see here. I have a pair of blue jeans. (Three boxes of triple thick chocolate covered Dove ice cream bars.) I have four pairs of sweat socks. (Two bags of Reese’s pieces.) and some after shave lotion and shaving cream. (Four bags of bite sized Kit Kat Bars. With a two liter bottle of Hershey‘s syrup for dipping.) ok, ok, so I may be slightly exaggerating here, and maybe my sugar addiction wasn’t quite that severe. But at any rate I am slowly showing signs of over all improvement, I don’t sit and vibrate any more, and when I get up out of my chair I don’t bounce my head off of the ceiling anymore.

The nervous twitches have somewhat subsided. So its under control, but I fear however that an entirely new problem may exist, to take my mind off of my sugar problem I have begun eating these strange little cracker things that one of my friend’s gave me, and the other night I was laying on the sofa watching television, and a strange impulse took control over me. I tried to lift my right leg over my head to scratch behind my ears with my toes, and fell off of the couch dead on my ass. I think the bastard may have slipped me some dog biscuits. If this keeps up I may go back to Dove bars.

~Scratch~

XXX

Although I don’t recall what my exact age was, I was very young when I figured out that I wasn’t afraid of the dark. Coming nose to nose with a prowler probably helped some I suppose, but I don’t recall ever being terrified of being alone at night. So what is it about that special time when the sun goes down that make some people get so freaked out? Perhaps it is indeed that same feeling as swimming out in the middle of the ocean and not knowing what big nasty shark might be swimming up behind you to have you for a snack. It makes people uncomfortable, not knowing, not seeing , wandering around in a black hole with no light to illuminate your path. Not knowing what is making that strange noise in the distance that has the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end. Is it an animal? Is it human? A man? A woman? Or perhaps it is something that hasn’t been encountered before, and you are about to be the first person ever to see it in all of its true hideous glory.



The truth when you are able to rationalize it, and see it, and clearly think about it is quite simple actually. When it comes to nightfall, when it comes to the dark, there is actually very little in it that isn’t there during the day. And the biggest fuel source that your own fears of it have, is your own imagination. Some animals are just nocturnal, animals such as say, Bats.. Owls. Possums. Skunks. Badgers. Raccoon’s and Deer. (Thanks Cracker.) and of course your standards like. Vampires. Werewolves. Zombies. Toads. And of course the Frankenstein Monster, and the ghost of Jack The Ripper. Toss in a few Ghouls and a couple of axe murderer’s and you could have quite a night of it. People can learn to rely too much on what they can and can’t see, and the end result of it can cause quite a bit of paranoia. Just in case do the following if it helps you to sleep better at night. Make sure that you check your outside porch lights regularly, make sure you have several working flashlights and candles handy just in case the power goes out in the middle of that dark and stormy night coming up. And just remember that it is more likely than not, that the most dangerous monster creeping around in your back yard at night is in reality quite human.

~Scratch~

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